Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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