i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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