So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize