So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
