I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Farmville is her only friend.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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