friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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