There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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