The best revenge is premature balding
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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