so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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