Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize