***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
