If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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