Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
