WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
