so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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