also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
