Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
