I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize