I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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