Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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