You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
