Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
