im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
