Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
