you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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