I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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