after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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