what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
