I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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