just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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