i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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