Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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