I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
do nipples grow back?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
