I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
