HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She said her name was "party"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
