ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize