pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Panties = found
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