Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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