I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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