She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
