How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize