you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
