you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
