Non-Jews are for practice
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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