is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
