So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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