Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
