oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
