can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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