Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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