yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
