Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize