I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
