Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
