bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
