Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So much rum. So many feels.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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