We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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