u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
