I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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