i don't plan on having that self control this summer
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I cut my penus on the lid.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
