evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
