Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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