he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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