i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
What drink are we having for lunch?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
