Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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