How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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