Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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