If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
