did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize