I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
