Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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