My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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